Really Being Here is a Balance of Pain and Healing
In Response to -(Nancy Peacock’s “Wounded” July 3, 2016)
Oh but, you do have answers. It IS hard to not lead with our wounds, yet either leading with our wounds or reacting to someone else’s wounded lead, especially when toxicity can be the focus of our experiences is the norm here on this planet of both free choice and slavery. To stay on one’s path of earth glory, the Appalachian Trail of our spiritual growth, not to be confused with religion or dogma or even pat cultural expectancy’s, to stay on a path from childhood to maturity that seeks those answers that we ponder and open up for examination, answers that inevitably lead to more questions and more wounds, to seek that is to fulfil our destiny to attain wisdom before we leave this place.
I too wish to lick my wounds like my dogs and hide from the cultural madness that infects like addiction infects, and worse still, it infects those who will succeed us, those people who buy into media’s lie of happiness and worthiness with the banishment of heart-felt individuality, the lie of materialism and the adoption of greed-based power. Certain people talk of competition over cooperation, one-up-man-ship over collaboration, sameness before differences, and wounds that lead our decisions rather than us using forgiveness and understanding. But questioning (as you have done in your essay) why we are wounded is at least the first step.
Do I really need to abandon that friend because she did not give me the particular relationship I expected or hoped for? Do I need to throw anger and disillusionment at that other friend who is absorbed in a tenuous family situation because my needs are now not getting met? Or can I as a forgiver, a questioner, a collaborative communicator, tell myself, my wounded self, to just stop to ask this person if there is something that I need to do right now to either help them or step away while they sort out their situation? Can I be so mature, so selfless, and so hopeful that they will grow from their wounds as I too am endlessly trying to understand and grow?
I am only suggesting that wounds which evolve into wisdom and compassion advances us to a newer wisdom. Woundedness forms forgiveness and depth within our spirits. Rumi said that the “wound is where the light enters.” Though we feel that we experience trauma in linear and chronological ways, we experience wisdom in holistic and circular ways as a result of learning from that trauma, those wounds. Instead of playing the fear-based roles that so often accompany these cultural and ideological wounding’s, we try to question if we are becoming more a part of the New Paradigm of Mother Earth, or are still stuck in the old fear-based paradigm.
The question of speaking up is a tremendous gift that writers give to others and yourselves. But not always. Historically, I have not fostered that personal gift as I would have liked. When I remember the major periods of my life when whole groups of people have stood against me, mainly because one (or a few) individuals motivated them to do so, and my silence, my fear of greater reprisal, my introversion, my confusion at the ignorance that motivates these anger groups (although as aforementioned- fear-based motivations affect many people), my lack of saying my truth did not appear to increase anyone’s wisdom except my own. Should I have yelled and screamed to stop being so mean? Would that have changed anything?
That increasing of personal wisdom that some of us experience is why I believe we are not broken but designed to be given a choice, by some supreme designer or a nameless entity. Growth with skin-shedding. Most everyone suffers the consequences or the advantages of the fear-based decision. And in a sort-of capitalistic, for-self-profit hijacking, the fear-based, power-manipulative, fossil-fueled, financial hoarders of the world promote their cause on the bandage of the world; propaganda.
Until now with the Trump Administration, there is resistance.
Media has become the new storyteller of our modern culture, no longer the local medicine man or Aesop’s Fables or grandma or the Trojan horse. Power-mad people hijacked our cultures, and our world- years ago. But we are all responsible for searching for the truth and attempting to make our lives an example of truth, kindness, compassion, or we can choose to live as an extension of the marketing ploy. We can choose to acquiescence. Sometimes, we have to choose to withdraw, to survive.
That is why our questions, our desire to retreat rather than to strike back, to feel the hurt rather than to gloss over it with more material property, or by gaining more distance from others in that little woodland retreat-could be a statement, a symbol of what a mass exodus from the next marketing ploy could provide: a social and cultural medicine for a ravaged world. Exodus. That is why I believe that our point of view is part of the New Paradigm. To acknowledge that trauma uses woundedness to teach us. Love and forgiveness. That woundedness can be a precursor to building the New Paradigm.
What is the New Paradigm?
We can recognize that our culture is evolving-into the ideals of our imagination. Not being part of the narrow few who behave within the strict parameters of the middle of the bell curve. We must improve from where we are, regardless of the yucky-ness that we see and hear.
A friend agrees that this ideal is how our culture is trying to evolve into “right-brain thinking”. To reject the barrage of left brain thinking that is our lives now.
Obviously, left brain analytical thinking is dominating our culture. Left brain approach is causing our children (those creatives who operate mostly from their right brain) to struggle, act out, or fight with the only resistance that they have, by misbehaving or becoming ill. Putting some children (some children definitely need meds to survive) on anti-depression medication is the “canary in the coal mine” warning that haunts us.
If children are sick, then we are sick. We are not clueless to this, given the mass destruction of everything from our health, forests, air, water, and collective harmony. But human apathy, (turning away from that which we find unpleasant to deal with) is one of the most destructive characteristic defining us.
We do not have to build fear. We do not have to love fear. We do not have to perpetuate fear. We can leave behind the old paradigm of practicing and perpetuating pain and fear for personal gain. We can offer to share our wealth rather than divvy it up between people in whom we have a personal interest. I am not suggesting economic suicide; rather contemplative collaboration.
How? The last three words of your essay ends with the words- “love each other”. It is that simple.
In trying to love other people, you end up loving them more than if you don’t try.